Monster of creation.

I will start by saying although I connect to the content within, these words came from an experience beyond my own. Mum, if you are reading this I love you for all that you are.

The smile you wear can fool the world but the sickness within it won’t fool me.

Long ago the hate turned to sickness. Exhausted, I fail to see past the terror. Mum, I love you but your condition was terminal. Now, you are dead to me.

Torment takes over as I lay in my bed at night. Over and over, my mind repeats the moments I wondered if I’d survive.

I’d have given you my life Mum, and in some twisted way, I think I have because this this life is not my own. I do not want to hurt you Mum but the truth is I am barely alive.

Choosing myself and walking away has been one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, for it feels like you have made every other. Leaving you with your own reflection I know you’ll rip yourself apart.

You created the perfect monster; she is fearless, resilient, and needs nothing from you. Now, watch her destroy your world as she walks away.

The magnificence lies in the bigger picture.

Leave behind the experiences and cycles that cause you pain. There is hope if you choose to see it.

Every scar you wear shows your resilience. Keep your head high Jolyoddbods.

Love you. X

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