It feels as though I am experiencing every emotion, yet feeling none.
Every ounce of hope I had, has left me feeling numb.
I’ve spent my life completing a sentence that I am told to withstand.
The storm that wells inside of me, I am trying my best to understand.
The moments in darkness in which I close my eyes,
Are the moments in which I am happiest. For, I do not see demise.
Disheartened by the ever-long chain of manipulation,
The honesty within screams for but one moment of gracious intention.
Within my soul hates currency knows no value;
Yet, I see it spent so freely in the name of virtue.
I am so broken I do not know what I believe;
Some pieces are completely lost and I cannot retrieve.
I hold hope to see the rise of the madness become the fall;
To find the centre in this chaos and withstand it all.
Until such time, in which my intrusions of reality become my muse,
I will hide my soul from their constant abuse.
I was born to love but I’ve been taught to hate;
This world has injected me with just enough poison to leave me sedate.
Letting go of the need to withdraw from the pain is a mental medicine that saves lives. We run from pain, expecting that our compulsiveness and ability to think quick can save us – and perhaps it can, until next time.
So, we run once more taking risks and hoping for the best. We tend to believe that we can create a world of ‘perfect’ conditions. Every step closer to the pain we become more panicked, our reactions becoming stronger.
Until we choose to stop running and look back to see the mess that we have created and the lives torn apart, we will not know the feeling of safety. Security is pain, it is uncomfort, it is choosing the inconvenient.
Do not choose safety, choose to experience.
Do not be afraid to feel reality, for that is where you find security.
Be strong within yourself Jollyoddbods.
Through the face of pain is the heart of salvation.